The headlines and copy used in big brand ads are often so ridiculous they’re hardly worth commenting on.

But I found this post by Nancy Friedman both funny and interesting. She writes:

“X just got better” [is] a formula frequently employed by headline writers short on time and imagination.

She then lists 18 specific examples where this headline formula was used, each one as dull as the last.

Actually, that’s not entirely true. Among her examples there is one exception that stands out like Christmas lights in July:

My favorite variation, though, comes from the dead trademark database: “The Oldest Virgin Around Just Got Better.” It was registered to the California Olive Corporation between 1997 and 2005.

I don’t know how many bottles of virgin olive oil this headline sold, but at least it’s interesting. If I saw that headline while flipping through a magazine, I’m pretty sure I’d at least read the first sentence to discover the tie-in.

Nevertheless, you ought to avoid trite formulas like “X just got better” or “X just got easier.” It’s not specific and it requires the reader to think too much.

Instead of saying that your product just got better, why not tell your over-stimulated reader precisely how your product is better — right there in the headline!

I know, it’s a novel thought.

But that’s why you read this blog, right?

-Ryan M. HealySimilar Posts:

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• Turning Research into Sales Copy
• Should a Direct Marketing Magazine Have Boring Headlines?
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So I got this little gem of an email in my inbox this week.

GREETINGS MY NAME IS ANGEL AND I AM THE DIRECTOR OF MEDIA REPRESENTING VISUAL MEDIA IMPACT IN TARRYTOWN, N.Y. I AM EMAILING YOU BECAUSE I SEE POTENTIAL IN YOUR TRAFFICKING DUE TO MY EXPERTISE OF SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZING. I HAVE OVER 10 YEARS EXPERIENCE WITH INTERFACE AND COMPUTER DEVELOPMENT AND WOULD LIKE TO RAISE YOUR CAPILIZATION RATES EXPONENTIALLY VIA- SPIDERS AND CRAWLERS AND OTHER COHERENT MECHANISMS AND STRATEGIC MANNERS WITH PAY-PER-CLICKS AND FULL SERVICE MARKETING MOBILE AND I-PAD XHTML APPLETS VIA-PORTABLE DEVICES. CALL ME ASAP! I NEED TO GIVE YOU A FREE CONSULTATION AND SEE YOUR FISCAL TOLERENCE LEVELS. IF AM AM NOT IN MY OFFICE TALK TO JERRY. I WANT TO FLY OR YOU FLY SO WE CAN GATHER PHOTOGRAPHS AND DEVELOP A STRATEGIC PLAN FOR VIDEOGRAPHY.

P.S- I’M PUTTING YOU ON MY FACEBOOK FOR “FREE!”

Wow. I’ve never had anybody tell me they wanted to “raise [my] capitalization rates exponentially via coherent mechanisms.”

It gets worse.

The email above was also accompanied by a voice message:

After introducing himself, “Angel” says he is “reaching abroad in a manner transcontinentally cuz I wanna network with you and I REALLY like you a lot.” After cumbersomely explaining what he does, he reveals he wants to “see my fiscal tolerance level.”

What begins as an over-the-top compliment is really just a poorly disguised sales pitch.

By the way, wasn’t it just this week that I warned you that flattery often precedes an effort to defraud?

Let’s look at all the red flags in this sales pitch:

• It begins with flattery — flattery from a stranger, no less!

• He wants to see my “fiscal tolerance level.” This phrase is designed to get the recipient to feel prideful (“Why, by Jove, I’m a man of means!”).

• He wants to fly out to see me. Again, another element to make the mark feel important.

• He mentions that he’s “put me on his Facebook for free.” Naturally, this is an effort to make me feel indebted so I will reciprocate by calling him back.

Three parts flattery plus one part reciprocity.

Overall, the pitch is perfectly horrid, even laughable.

But it’s a good example of how con men lead with flattery so you will lower your defenses.

Know the triggers and be on your guard. Not all efforts to defraud are as easy to spot as this one…

-Ryan M. HealySimilar Posts:

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Recently, fellow copywriter Robert Stover introduced me to the concept of ethos in sales copy.

Ethos literally means “character.” In other words, we often judge the persuasiveness of a sales message based on the character of the person who is doing the selling.

While the idea that some sales people are more trustworthy than others is not new to me, the formal concept of ethos is. In fact, it is one of three core components of argument discussed in Aristotle’s Rhetoric, the other two being logos and pathos.

There are three components that make up ethos:

phronesis – practical skills & wisdom
arete – virtue, goodness
eunoia – goodwill towards the audience

The first two are straightforward. The final item on this list might also be called motive. Why does the speaker want to persuade me? What does he stand to gain or lose?

Taken together, these three components make up ethos. Some people naturally have low ethos while others naturally have high ethos.

But ethos can also change based on context.

A person who has high ethos in one area of expertise may have low ethos in another because he lacks knowledge and experience. Even though such a person may be good and have the best intentions, his lack of expertise will negatively affect his perceived strength of character.

Real Examples of Ethos

Let’s look at the ethos of some real people…

Bernie Madoff would now have very low ethos if he tried to counsel you regarding your investment decisions. After all, he is serving 150 years for financial fraud.

But Madoff might have high ethos in another situation… for instance, if he were giving you advice on how to get around the Federal Correctional Complex at Butner, North Carolina, where he is imprisoned.

How about a real example of a person with high ethos? Very well.

Here is a brief letter written by John Garver, the 19-year-old nephew of Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum. You might think Santorum’s nephew would write a letter encouraging voters to support his uncle, but you’d be wrong.

Take a look:

The trouble with my uncle, Rick Santorum

If you want another big-government politician who supports the status quo to run our country, you should vote for my uncle, Rick Santorum. America is based on a strong belief in individual liberty. My uncle’s interventionist policies, both domestic and foreign, stem from his irrational fear of freedom not working.

It is not the government’s job to dictate to individuals how they must live. The Constitution was designed to protect individual liberty. My Uncle Rick cannot fathom a society in which people cooperate and work with each other freely. When Republicans were spending so much money under President Bush, my uncle was right there along with them as a senator. The reason we have so much debt is not only because of Democrats, but also because of big-spending Republicans like my Uncle Rick.

It is because of this inability of status quo politicians to recognize the importance of our individual liberties that I have been drawn to Ron Paul. Unlike my uncle, he does not believe that the American people are incapable of forming decisions. He believes that an individual is more powerful than any group (a notion our founding fathers also believed in).

Another important reason I support Ron Paul is his position on foreign policy. He is the only candidate willing to bring our troops home, not only from the Middle East, but from around the world.

Ron Paul seems to be the only candidate trying to win the election for a reason other than simply winning the election.

This year, I’ll vote for an honest change in our government. I’ll vote for real hope. I’ll vote for a real leader. This year, I will vote for Ron Paul.

John Garver is a 19-year-old student at the University of Pittsburgh at Johnstown. John is a strong supporter of Ron Paul despite his love for family member Rick Santorum.

Garver’s letter is what inspired this post to begin with. Since Robert Stover had just recently talked to me about ethos, this piece of writing immediately stood out to me as having high ethos.

The author is a university student (knowledgeable), seems to be a good person, and is pure in motive. (Clearly, Garver could face some unpleasant repercussions by sharing such an unexpected opinion.)

3 Questions to Ask to Strengthen Your Ethos

Although I also happen to support Ron Paul, my purpose here is not to persuade you one way or the other. Rather, I want you to think carefully about the ethos you project in your sales messages.

• Are you coming across as experienced and knowledgeable on the subject you’re writing about?

• Will your readers perceive you as a good person? Does your likeability shine through the words of your message?

• Are you writing with sound motive? Are you acting for the primary benefit of your prospects?

These are important questions to answer.

The next time you write a sales message, think about how you can convey a stronger ethos, a stronger character. It could significantly improve your results.

-Ryan M. HealySimilar Posts:

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Irony of ironies: Direct Marketing News has the most boring headlines ever.

Here are samples from the cover of the August 2011 issue…

• Occasion for change
• Making a commitment
• Email front and center
• Furnished dwellings

That’s it! Those are the cover headlines. The first one in the list is the “Spotlight” article; the other three are in the sidebar.

Inside you’ll find equally boring pabulum. For example:

• Retailers save on swipe fees with discounts
• Tailor marketing strategies to customer preferences
• Mobile tagging extends TV ads for brands
• New accounting rules will improve your loyalty books
• Drive e-commerce with tailored email tactics
• Marketers leverage Facebook for email acquisition and consumer engagement

As I look through the magazine, it’s actually difficult to find anything at all that catches my attention.

Now, I realize it’s a news magazine, but given that it’s DIRECT MARKETING news, couldn’t it be just a little bit more interesting than “Occasion for change”?

-Ryan M. HealySimilar Posts:

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As you probably know, you can often increase sales by attaching your promotion to something your target market is already thinking about.

Holidays… current events… even celebrities are all fair game for getting your prospects’ attention and getting them to buy.

That’s why I was pleased to see this creative promotion in my email inbox today.

Impulse Theater (formerly Comedy Works) is the longest running show in Denver. My wife and I go there a few times a year.

Anyway, I love how they took a common government tax form — the 1040 EZ — and turned it into a promotion. Brilliant! This is much more creative (in my opinion) than those “I’ve got a big tax bill” sales.

While it is likely true that Mr. Marketer has a big tax bill, it is an overused appeal that has lost some of its pizzazz.

Impulse Theater, on the other hand, takes an old theme — Tax Day! — and comes up with a creative promotion that cuts through the clutter.

Nice work.

-Ryan M. HealySimilar Posts:

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One reason for Groupon’s meteoric success (and the success of similar mob coupon services) is because they’re selling money at a discount.

If I offered to give you $20 if you gave me $10, you’d take that offer as many times as you possibly could.

That is the basic premise for many of the offers made through Groupon, Living Social, etc.

Client and friend Dave Andrews (the creator of an excellent how to quit drinking program) tipped me off to one such promotion where Living Social offered a $20 Amazon gift certificate for $10.

By the end of the 1-day promotion, 1.3 million gift certificates had been sold. At a cost of $10 each, that’s a little more than $13 million collected in 24 hours.

With just one email.

There was no complicated product launch process involved. No pre-notification list. No anticipation.

Just a simple offer delivered by email with a short deadline.

Want to goose your sales?

Figure out a way to sell money at a discount.

-Ryan M. HealySimilar Posts:

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Unlike my copywriting colleague, Ben Settle, I actually did respond to a Netflix ad.

That was a few years ago now.

At the time, they were doing a bunch of print advertising. Mostly blow-ins included with the grocery store flyers delivered by mail once a week.

Those little ads were brilliant. They demonstrated — in print form — how easy it was to use Netflix. Three steps: Sign up, add movies to your queue, get movies in the mail!

Seemed like a brilliant idea to me, so I signed up.

But Ben now reports that Netflix is running some pretty lame radio ads. I haven’t heard ‘em, but I believe it.

If I know anything about advertising, I bet the marketing execs just got bored of their own ads and decided they “just had to mix it up.” I can imagine the following exchange:

Ted: “You know, Bob, I think those 3-step ads have run their course.”

Bob: “Why?”

Ted: “I don’t know, I’m just so bored of them. Why don’t we do something cool… like a mock game show commercial? Now that’d be cool.”

This happens a lot. The advertising that built the company gets scrapped in favor of something “cool.”

Now, to their credit, Netflix is still running hardcore direct response banner ads on the Internet. The latest one I’ve seen uses the following headline:

    Movies delivered 2 ways for only $8.99 a month.

I think that’s a pretty solid headline. And I bet it’s getting results (banner advertising is easily tracked).

Anyhow, the lesson here is simply this:

1. Always test your advertising.

2. Don’t attempt something “cool” or “clever” just because you get bored of your own ads.

3. And don’t resort to branding on radio commercials just because it’s a different medium. (Direct response ads work on radio, too.)

-Ryan M. HealySimilar Posts:

• Preemptive Apology: How Netflix Earns My Respect, and My Business
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• Netflix Kills Qwikster
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Just about all practitioners of direct response marketing know: When a piece is mailed twice, it’s most likely profitable.

Well, the same thing is true for email. When you see the same email — with the same subject line — sent out twice, it’s probably a winner.

What’s interesting is that almost NOBODY does this. The thinking is, “I’ve already sent this email once. Surely I can’t send it a second time because my subscribers will notice.”

True, some may notice. But chances are most of them won’t notice… because… they ignored the first email anyway.

Perfect example.

I wrote an email for a client with the following subject line:

    “What If…”

We’ve now sent it out five times, with similar results every time. It is the best-performing email we’ve ever used for this particular market and product.

Here’s another example:

The Oxford Club sent me an email on June 16. They sent the same email with the same subject line again on June 21. (The only change was a short intro paragraph at the top of the 2nd email.) Here’s the subject line they used:

    “Why August 12 Starts Phase Two of the Euro’s Meltdown”

Pretty compelling, wouldn’t you say? When I saw this, I literally HAD to open it.

Sometimes you can find great email subject lines just by “farming” your email inbox. Here are four recent examples (and one older example) that caught my attention:

    The best advice I never received…
        -AWAI

    The Info-Marketer’s Most Precious Business Asset…
        -Daniel Levis for The Makepeace Total Package

    uh-oh. he’s naming names.
        -Ray Edwards

    Your copy bombed – now what?
        -Carline Anglade-Cole

    How to Break Into Financial Copywriting
        -Doug D’Anna

Notice that most of these have to do with copywriting or direct response advertising. That’s because these subjects are major interests of mine.

Looking through my own inbox can be fun, but tedious. It takes time to find the gold.

But just imagine how easy it would be to come up with great subject lines if you had 527 of the best ones all compiled into an easy-to-use PDF?

That’s exactly what Lawrence Bernstein has done with “Made You Look: 527 Subject Lines that Dare You to Look Away.”

He and his partner, Art Crowley, reviewed 18,000 subject lines mailed over a three-year period to come up with the 527 that stood head and shoulders above the rest.

They then broke these down even further into 12 separate categories for easy reference.

This little gem normally sells for $97, but Lawrence is giving it away free when you join The Ultimate Online Swipe File through this link:

http://clickora.com/swipefile

Not to mention, I’ll also give you a free membership to Copywriting Code — my private web site where I share some of my best how-to copywriting info.

But please act quickly.

This offer expires on Friday evening, June 25. Please sign up now to claim your free gifts…

http://clickora.com/swipefile

-Ryan M. HealySimilar Posts:

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Just when you think you’ve seen it all, something shows up in your mailbox that proves you wrong.

Yesterday, as I was going through the mail, I found a letter from DirecTV, a satellite TV provider. I was intrigued because the letter was not addressed to me as a consumer, but rather to me as a business owner.

So I opened the letter and gave it a quick read.

The letter makes a lot of eyebrow-raising claims. For instance: “Bring in more customers by entertaining them while they wait, shop or work out with the best variety of sports, shows and up-to-the-minute news.”

Hmmm… I guess that’s possible. I personally avoid any auto shop that has a TV that dominates the waiting room. Inevitably there’s some banal talk show blaring and I have to suffer through it as I try my best to read.

In reality, TV in a waiting room is like tyranny on a small scale. All the patients are subjected to watching or hearing what one person has decided to watch. Is that a reason for me to come to your business? No way!

I’d rather some books or a stack of magazines I can thumb through — everybody gets to choose their own “channel” without bothering anybody else.

One thing’s for sure: You don’t choose a doctor based on the quality of the television programming in the waiting room!

Still, given that most people are addicted to television, I guess having satellite TV in a waiting room could give you a small transient advantage. DirecTV offers this fact as proof: “90% of business subscribers believe DirecTV increases their business.”

Yeah, and lots of people believe things that aren’t actually true. You must be running a pretty shoddy business if TV programming brings more customers in. (One possible exception: health clubs.)

But let’s move on to a separate claim — the most ludicrous claim I’ve probably ever encountered in advertising.

In this particular mailing, there is a buck slip with six so-called “facts” for how DirecTV improves a business.

Fact #6 is the one that just kills me: “Employees are more productive when they have a constant connection to current events.”

Wait a second. Am I reading that correctly — that employees are more productive when they’re constantly connected to a television?!

If improving employee productivity were really that easy, our GDP should be growing by double digits every quarter. Just watch more TV — and watch those numbers climb!

It’s clear to me that whoever wrote the copy for this promo is not an entrepreneur and has never run a business in his or her life. Heck, the copywriter doesn’t even understand what business is about.

Here are some tips for the marketing folks at DirecTV:

First, stop the B.S. Employees don’t work harder when they’re watching TV.

Second, how’s about you actually put some effort into a little thing called list selection.

I can think of three groups of business owners who might be interested in getting DirecTV for their businesses: doctors who have waiting rooms; auto shops that have waiting rooms; and high-end health clubs that want to differentiate from low-end fitness centers.

Write the promo for one type of business — and then send it to just those businesses. I work from my home and have no employees. What need do I have for TV programming in my study?

None. Nada. Zip.

But I guess DirecTV doesn’t know that because they used the shotgun approach to send out a ridiculous sales piece to a whole bunch of business owners — because all businesses will get more customers with better TV programming!

Lesson: Direct mail that is not targeted properly and is not based in reality is doomed to fail. Be wise.

-Ryan M. HealySimilar Posts:

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There is a huge dichotomy in advertising.

• On the one hand you’ve got the pressure to perform: to make your advertising as profitable as you possibly can.

• On the other hand you’ve got the pressure to be ethical: to be as honest as possible in your advertising.

Last week I raised the issue of using fake scarcity to drive more sales. Many people said they disagreed with such a deceptive tactic and would fire any client who did such a thing.

Not to muddy the waters too much here, but the issue of honesty in advertising is very complex. In fact, it seems dishonesty in advertising is accepted as a matter of course!

So, since I already brought up the issue of fake scarcity, let’s turn the lens of scrutiny toward…

Fake Stories

When I asked my mastermind group how they would handle dishonest clients, the responses were very interesting. Not one of them was the same. And yet each person seemed passionate about his position.

Daniel Levis mentioned how John Caples’ most famous ad was an imaginary story. You know, the ad that begins, They Laughed When I Sat Down at the Piano But When I Started to Play!~

The story in this ad is completely fictitious. Some may say it is dishonest. Is this okay? And how is it any different than the fake weight loss stories and fake body building stories published on “flogs” these days?

Maybe the difference is in class, style, and sophistication. If you tell an imaginary story framed as a real story… and you tell it believably enough… does that make it okay?

Fake Endorsements

Or how about TV commercials with paid actors and actresses giving fake endorsements of products? This is extremely common.

The “perfect” house wife comes on screen, kids in the background: “Ever since I started using Product X, cleaning up even the messiest spills has been a breeze. After all, I need all the help I can get!”

Everybody knows these “TV testimonials” are fake, the stories completely made up, the “families” patched together from the most attractive people on the set. It’s quite possible the actors and actresses in these commercials have never even used the products they’re promoting!

And yet I don’t see anybody complaining about this particular genre of dishonest advertising.

Real Ad, Fake Story

Here’s another example. I’m a subscriber of World Net Daily’s Whistleblower magazine. On the back cover of the November 2009 issue there is a full-page ad put out by Swiss America to advertise gold.

The headline reads: “Our retirement account has tripled in the last 5 years…”

Underneath the headline there is a picture of a happy couple in their 50s. It is obviously a stock photograph to support the headline.

Now, the headline is dishonest on two levels. By saying “Our retirement account has tripled,” they’re implying that this really happened to a certain couple. I’m fairly confident that this is not the case.

What’s more, the price of gold has tripled from 2004 to 2009. Which means that for the headline to be true, this couple would have had to have had 100% of their retirement account invested in gold. Again, not likely.

But I don’t look at the ad and get angry. I actually get kind of interested. Hey! Maybe I should be investing in gold! I start to think. On that level, the ad works.

But How Far Is Too Far?

My point is this: We see LOTS of dishonest advertising every day. But we don’t think of it as being dishonest. We accept it. We may even approve of it.

So what then makes one dishonest ad okay but another one not okay? Are we going to label John Caples a liar for telling a story that wasn’t true, but could have been? Where do we draw the line?

In other words, just how far is too far in advertising? Leave a comment below and let me know what you think.

-Ryan M. Healy

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