Just when you think you’ve seen it all, something shows up in your mailbox that proves you wrong.

Yesterday, as I was going through the mail, I found a letter from DirecTV, a satellite TV provider. I was intrigued because the letter was not addressed to me as a consumer, but rather to me as a business owner.

So I opened the letter and gave it a quick read.

The letter makes a lot of eyebrow-raising claims. For instance: “Bring in more customers by entertaining them while they wait, shop or work out with the best variety of sports, shows and up-to-the-minute news.”

Hmmm… I guess that’s possible. I personally avoid any auto shop that has a TV that dominates the waiting room. Inevitably there’s some banal talk show blaring and I have to suffer through it as I try my best to read.

In reality, TV in a waiting room is like tyranny on a small scale. All the patients are subjected to watching or hearing what one person has decided to watch. Is that a reason for me to come to your business? No way!

I’d rather some books or a stack of magazines I can thumb through — everybody gets to choose their own “channel” without bothering anybody else.

One thing’s for sure: You don’t choose a doctor based on the quality of the television programming in the waiting room!

Still, given that most people are addicted to television, I guess having satellite TV in a waiting room could give you a small transient advantage. DirecTV offers this fact as proof: “90% of business subscribers believe DirecTV increases their business.”

Yeah, and lots of people believe things that aren’t actually true. You must be running a pretty shoddy business if TV programming brings more customers in. (One possible exception: health clubs.)

But let’s move on to a separate claim — the most ludicrous claim I’ve probably ever encountered in advertising.

In this particular mailing, there is a buck slip with six so-called “facts” for how DirecTV improves a business.

Fact #6 is the one that just kills me: “Employees are more productive when they have a constant connection to current events.”

Wait a second. Am I reading that correctly — that employees are more productive when they’re constantly connected to a television?!

If improving employee productivity were really that easy, our GDP should be growing by double digits every quarter. Just watch more TV — and watch those numbers climb!

It’s clear to me that whoever wrote the copy for this promo is not an entrepreneur and has never run a business in his or her life. Heck, the copywriter doesn’t even understand what business is about.

Here are some tips for the marketing folks at DirecTV:

First, stop the B.S. Employees don’t work harder when they’re watching TV.

Second, how’s about you actually put some effort into a little thing called list selection.

I can think of three groups of business owners who might be interested in getting DirecTV for their businesses: doctors who have waiting rooms; auto shops that have waiting rooms; and high-end health clubs that want to differentiate from low-end fitness centers.

Write the promo for one type of business — and then send it to just those businesses. I work from my home and have no employees. What need do I have for TV programming in my study?

None. Nada. Zip.

But I guess DirecTV doesn’t know that because they used the shotgun approach to send out a ridiculous sales piece to a whole bunch of business owners — because all businesses will get more customers with better TV programming!

Lesson: Direct mail that is not targeted properly and is not based in reality is doomed to fail. Be wise.

-Ryan M. Healy

There is a huge dichotomy in advertising.

• On the one hand you’ve got the pressure to perform: to make your advertising as profitable as you possibly can.

• On the other hand you’ve got the pressure to be ethical: to be as honest as possible in your advertising.

Last week I raised the issue of using fake scarcity to drive more sales. Many people said they disagreed with such a deceptive tactic and would fire any client who did such a thing.

Not to muddy the waters too much here, but the issue of honesty in advertising is very complex. In fact, it seems dishonesty in advertising is accepted as a matter of course!

So, since I already brought up the issue of fake scarcity, let’s turn the lens of scrutiny toward…

Fake Stories

When I asked my mastermind group how they would handle dishonest clients, the responses were very interesting. Not one of them was the same. And yet each person seemed passionate about his position.

Daniel Levis mentioned how John Caples’ most famous ad was an imaginary story. You know, the ad that begins, They Laughed When I Sat Down at the Piano But When I Started to Play!~

The story in this ad is completely fictitious. Some may say it is dishonest. Is this okay? And how is it any different than the fake weight loss stories and fake body building stories published on “flogs” these days?

Maybe the difference is in class, style, and sophistication. If you tell an imaginary story framed as a real story… and you tell it believably enough… does that make it okay?

Fake Endorsements

Or how about TV commercials with paid actors and actresses giving fake endorsements of products? This is extremely common.

The “perfect” house wife comes on screen, kids in the background: “Ever since I started using Product X, cleaning up even the messiest spills has been a breeze. After all, I need all the help I can get!”

Everybody knows these “TV testimonials” are fake, the stories completely made up, the “families” patched together from the most attractive people on the set. It’s quite possible the actors and actresses in these commercials have never even used the products they’re promoting!

And yet I don’t see anybody complaining about this particular genre of dishonest advertising.

Real Ad, Fake Story

Here’s another example. I’m a subscriber of World Net Daily’s Whistleblower magazine. On the back cover of the November 2009 issue there is a full-page ad put out by Swiss America to advertise gold.

The headline reads: “Our retirement account has tripled in the last 5 years…”

Underneath the headline there is a picture of a happy couple in their 50s. It is obviously a stock photograph to support the headline.

Now, the headline is dishonest on two levels. By saying “Our retirement account has tripled,” they’re implying that this really happened to a certain couple. I’m fairly confident that this is not the case.

What’s more, the price of gold has tripled from 2004 to 2009. Which means that for the headline to be true, this couple would have had to have had 100% of their retirement account invested in gold. Again, not likely.

But I don’t look at the ad and get angry. I actually get kind of interested. Hey! Maybe I should be investing in gold! I start to think. On that level, the ad works.

But How Far Is Too Far?

My point is this: We see LOTS of dishonest advertising every day. But we don’t think of it as being dishonest. We accept it. We may even approve of it.

So what then makes one dishonest ad okay but another one not okay? Are we going to label John Caples a liar for telling a story that wasn’t true, but could have been? Where do we draw the line?

In other words, just how far is too far in advertising? Leave a comment below and let me know what you think.

-Ryan M. Healy

Email is a funny thing.

You can spend hours writing a well-thought out sales email… only to see it flop. And you can kick out something in minutes that creates a buying frenzy.

Naturally, your subject line plays a huge role in whether your email even gets opened. And, in theory, this also affects your sales.

With that in mind, let’s play a little game. You read the two subject lines below, and then see if you can pick which subject line won. Got it? Okay…

• Subject Line #1: Long-Shot Leads to Unexpected Win

• Subject Line #2: China tells U.S. to “go straight to hell.”

Just to give you a little bit more background on these emails, both were sent to a house list of folks interested in trading. Both sold the same product at the same price. And both “piggy-backed” on news events.

The first email piggy-backed on the 2009 Superbowl. The second email piggy-backed on China’s move to unload the fraudulent derivative products sold to them by U.S. banks.

So both had tie-ins to events that would have been top of mind for most traders.

Alright, have you made your decision?

Good, let’s move forward.

Here are the open rates for each email:

• Subject Line #1: 741 opens

• Subject Line #2: 1,434 opens

Did you guess right?

Well, maybe you did and maybe you didn’t — but you actually don’t know yet.

That’s because open rates are a relatively meaningless metric. Think of print advertisements. You don’t care how many people read your headline; you care about how many people actually buy.

Fortunately, this particular client took my recommendation to buy some simple (and affordable) ad tracking software.

We use this software program to track the open rates and sales of every email we send out. (We also track ads by source so we know when our advertising dollars are working and when they’re not.)

Because we track emails like this, I can tell you that the real winner was Subject Line #1 — and NOT Subject Line #2 as you probably guessed.

Here are the numbers:

• Subject Line #1: Long-Shot Leads to Unexpected Win – 741 opens, 17 sales

• Subject Line #2: China tells U.S. to “go straight to hell.” – 1,434 opens, 9 sales

If you’re paying close attention, the first email got about half as many opens… but… almost double the sales!

This real-life example proves that while your subject line matters — and you should always aim to get your emails opened — a high open rate does not necessarily guarantee a greater number of sales.

And while this example may be appear to be an anomaly, I promise you: it isn’t. I’ve seen this same story played out a number of times.

I have a theory about this.

There are people on every email list who will never buy. They’re either freebie seekers or they’re just not interested in what you have to offer. This is a fact.

Unfortunately, we tend to think that everybody on a list is a potential buyer… and so we try to write for the list.

This is a mistake because “the list” doesn’t buy. Individual people on the list do.

So when you write emails, try to imagine your ideal buyer. Write to that guy. And don’t worry about all the non-buyers — they’re never going to buy anything anyway.

Said another way, don’t focus on maximizing attention; focus on maximizing sales. Don’t write to the list; write to the latent buyers on the list.

Making this simple mindset shift could make a massive difference in the results you get from your email marketing.

-Ryan M. Healy

P.S. How do you know which emails are really working and which ones aren’t? And how do you know which ads are worth running again? Well, you can’t really know — unless you track your ads by source.

If you’ve ever tried to sell anything before — online or off-line — then you already know how important it is to have a compelling offer.

In fact, get your offer wrong, and “killer copy” won’t help.

But get your offer right, and even so-so copy will pull pretty strong.

That’s why I was intrigued when I learned of Gary Ambrose’s offer to provide access to a $5,000 workshop for just a $1.

I was even more intrigued when I learned that there were no hidden shipping fees and no forced continuity.

http://bit.ly/13Dst5

Of course, I know Gary isn’t doing all this out of the goodness of his heart (although I’m sure he’s a good guy).

He’s going to have some optional upsells, and he knows some people will take advantage of them.

So that’s the deal.

But no matter what, you can still get the $5K workshop videos for $1, no strings attached.

http://bit.ly/13Dst5

Please note that the workshop videos will be available after Labor Day, on Tuesday, Sep 8 at around 12 noon Eastern time.

If you’re interested, I’d suggest getting on the priority notification list so you get a head start on everybody else.

http://bit.ly/13Dst5

You might wonder, why am I promoting this?

First, based on what I know about Gary Ambrose, he’s a trustworthy guy. I don’t promote just anybody.

I won’t name names, but there are a few people in the Internet marketing space who I refuse to promote because of the sales tactics they use and/or the lack of customer support.

Second, Gary’s workshop videos (which he created with Keith Wellman) are intended to provide you with a cohesive system for building an online business.

Without the clutter. Without the distractions. Without wondering “what do I do next?”

And while I haven’t seen the videos myself, I think $1 is an extremely reasonable price to get access to them.

http://bit.ly/13Dst5

Another question you might have is, “Ryan, is this your affiliate link?”

And the answer is, yes. This is my affiliate link, and I will receive a commission if you choose to take advantage of any of the upsell offers.

Total transparency… I’m not trying to hide anything.

By sharing well-selected opportunities with you (like this one), it allows me to continue providing high-quality information for free on my blog.

I hope you’ll take a moment to check this out and get on Gary’s priority notification list for Tuesday.

http://bit.ly/13Dst5

-Ryan M. Healy

P.S. Frankly, I think it’s a bit “nutso” that Gary is running this promotion over Labor Day weekend, but hey — I ain’t in charge! :-)

I literally just found out about this today, and I believe it’s an offer worth looking into.

http://bit.ly/13Dst5

Starbucks has a new promotion.

It’s printed on your receipt, the cashier reminds you, and an email campaign supports the effort as well.

The offer?

For a limited time, enjoy any Grande (16 fl oz)
cold beverage for only $2 after 2pm at
participating U.S. stores. Just bring in the
receipt from your morning visit to Starbucks.

It’s simple on the surface, but it’s genius. They’re tapping into their current customer base… and… encouraging them to buy more often.

Hey, you enjoyed a drink this morning. Why not treat yourself this afternoon, too? We’ll make it easy by giving you a nice discount.

This is one of the four overarching strategies to grow a business. And they’re executing it brilliantly.

-Ryan M. Healy

In case you missed it, a doctored image of Obama as the Joker went viral yesterday after physical posters started showing up around Los Angeles.

Most things that go viral online start online.

But this started off-line… in one single U.S. city. Then it exploded on the Internet.

So there is clearly something about the poster that works. Here’s a picture of it in case you haven’t seen it.

At first, I thought, “Whoa. That’s really good.” It got my attention. I felt it made it a point — not necessarily on a conscious level, but on a gut level.

Then my friend and political opposite (Rob Siders) pointed me to an article in which Robert Dougherty makes an excellent point:

The Joker was many things, but he was hardly a socialist. In fact, the Joker is the polar opposite of a socialist, and anyone who watched The Dark Knight would know that. Socialism is the result of an all-powerful central government that runs every aspect of life — but the Joker subscribes to anarchy, one of socialism’s polar opposites.

And as much as I dislike Obama (and all mainstream politicians), I had to agree: Obama is not an anarchist. He’s a socialist. (Not to say socialists are good guys… their mass extermination projects have been among the greatest atrocities in history.)

So if the comparison is inaccurate, what is it about the Obama/Joker poster that works? Why did it go viral so quickly?

I think it’s because of the raw emotion created by blending Obama’s face with the Joker’s makeup. When you first see the poster, your brain isn’t thinking, “Oh, c’mon! The Joker is an anarchist. How could somebody be so stupid!”

And that’s the point: You’re not thinking. You’re feeling.

So on one level, the poster is very effective. It breaks through the noise. It gets to you. (Isn’t this the first job of all good advertising?)

But on another level, the poster loses its punch. Because it’s hard to make the logical connection between Obama and the Joker.

All good advertising must have a strong emotional appeal — and then be well supported by logic and proof. In this case, it seems the second ingredient is missing.

What do you think? Sound off and leave a comment.

-Ryan M. Healy

In my last post, I showed you 7 different ways to research a copywriting project.

And while you can immediately use that information to research your next project, it’s helpful to know what to do with all the information you dig up. That’s why I’m going to show you how to turn your research into sales copy that actually works.

I’ve taken my research methods and broken them down into three primary methods so they are easier for you to remember. Taken together, they spell the acronym “D.I.G.”

Method #1: Dig for Diamonds

The first thing I do is “dig for diamonds.” Put another way, I review articles, statistics, interview notes, and testimonials to see if there are any phrases, concepts, or ideas that I can easily use verbatim in the copy.

• A testimonial might be turned into a headline or bullet.

• A snatch of conversation during my client interview may become an entire paragraph or two of sales copy.

• A quote from a periodical may become a sidebar… or even a subhead or headline.

I like to print out my research. As I review what I have, I’ll have my pen in hand to underline any diamonds I find. I may even make a note of how I was thinking of using that particular bit of information in the copy.

Let me give you an example to take this from theory to practice.

Did you know David Ogilvy didn’t actually write the headline he is most famous for? That’s right. He didn’t write it. He just had the vision and foresight to use it as a headline.

Ogilvy’s famous headline was this:

“At 60 miles an hour the loudest noise in this new Rolls-Royce comes from the electric clock.”

The body copy of the ad then opens with this paragraph:

1. “At 60 miles an hour the loudest noise in this new Rolls-Royce comes from the electric clock,” reports the Technical Editor of The Motor. The silence of the engine is uncanny. Three mufflers tune out sound frequencies — acoustically.

Notice that Ogilvy’s headline is a direct quotation from the Technical Editor of a magazine called The Motor. No doubt, this headline came not from Ogilvy’s creativity, but rather from his thorough research.

Method #2: Identify Language Patterns

Your market speaks in a unique way.

They’ve got certain ways of speaking, special phrases, and slang words that are all a part of their particular sub-culture.

And you may or may not speak in the same way!

So one of the things I do is identify specific phrases and language patterns that the target market uses. If you read enough testimonials and customer feedback, you will very quickly discover what those phrases and patterns are.

Recently, I helped launch a new product for a client. I was in charge of writing all the launch emails, plus the reverse opt-in pages and sales letter.

As part of the project, I solicited feedback on my client’s blog. I asked the subscribers why they wanted to be what we were offering to teach them to be.

But rather than let those comments languish, I analyzed each comment and boiled it down to a single phrase. In my notebook, I wrote at the top of the page: “Why Be a ____?”

Then I have 23 entries, all of which start “To ________.”

After reviewing my “boiled down” list of reasons, I discovered that EVERYBODY wanted to be a  ____ for three specific reasons. I then put those three reasons in my headline and made sure to revisit them in the sales copy.

Result: That letter converted at more than 10% when we launched.

Method #3: Get Creative

Last but not least, you need to get creative.

You need to review your research and connect the dots.

What big ideas pop out? What ideas bubble up? What specific phrases keep repeating that you can use as the theme or “hook” for your sales letter?

In almost every sales letter I write, I like to use a simile or metaphor to help explain the product or service. This may be used in a headline, or it may be buried somewhere in the body copy, depending on how simple or complex the product is.

So I might write a sentence that says:

“It’s like ______.”

Or, “It’s not just a _____; it’s a ______.”

This is abstract thinking. And, yes, it takes practice to get good at it. But it’s worth it.

Recently, I had to sell a tool that helps option traders write covered calls with protective puts. There is a small fraction of the population that even knows what that means. So I had to come up with a metaphor to explain the product.

I ultimately used this metaphor in the headline of the sales letter. Here is the “metaphor headline” I wrote:

“In Gambling, The House Always Wins. What If You Could Be ‘The House’ in Option Trading?”

The beauty of this headline is that it quickly conveys the idea of what we’re selling without getting bogged down in all the details. It shortcuts the time it takes for the prospect to understand the product — even though the product is complex.

Even better, the letter converted at more than 7% during two separate launches.

“D.I.G.” Your Way to Stronger Sales Copy

The three methods I’ve shared with you — Dig for Diamonds, Identify Language Patterns, and Get Creative — spell the acronym D.I.G.

So the next time you’re doing research for a copywriting project, just remember that you can D.I.G. your way to stronger sales copy by using the three methods I’ve outlined above.

-Ryan M. Healy

A few days ago, W.C. bought my ebook on how to get copywriting clients. I then learned via Twitter that he was going to his first Internet marketing seminar, and that he needed business cards fast. Here’s what he wrote:

Business cards are one of those things you don’t normally think about until you really need them. And when you don’t have them in a networking situation, it’s painful.

What I told W.C. I’ll tell you.

If you need business cards in a pinch, then I recommend Overnight Prints. Your order can be at your front door in 1-2 business days if you want.

This is not an affiliate link. I’ve designed and ordered cards from Overnight Prints before, and I’ve been very happy with them.

In fact, I’ll be headed to a business meeting in Dallas in a couple weeks, so I just ordered some new business cards this morning. And I ordered them from Overnight Prints.

How to Design a Business Card

The principles that apply to all forms of direct response advertising apply to business cards as well. Don’t think of them as a way to convey your contact information; rather, think of them as a way to generate a response.

Here are some ideas for making your business card actually work:

Tip #1. Offer a free gift to drive people to a web site where you can capture names and email addresses.

Tip #2. Include testimonial(s) to build credibility.

Tip #3. If you make a claim, be specific. It’s more believable.

Tip #4. Use both the front AND the back of the card to double your “word space.” (You wouldn’t set aside half of a full-page advertisement for “white space.” Don’t do it with a business card either.)

Tip #5. If you’re a service professional, and you don’t have a retail office space where clients visit, then don’t include your address. It’s a poor use of space.

So what might such a business card look like?

To show you, I’ve included the front and back of the business card I created this morning.

As you can see, the first part of my card is an offer to get my free conversion booster check list. The call to action is to go to this blog.

I could have sent them to a specific opt-in (squeeze) page… but in this case I decided sending them to my blog was good enough.

I then include my primary contact information. I omit my address since it’s not necessary to my business.

On the back of the card, I include two testimonials from people who have name recognition.

For the call to action, I send them to read “all 32″ of my testimonials on my blog. I use specificity to increase believability. I think the use of the number 32 creates some curiosity, too. I can imagine a person thinking, “Who else gave Ryan a testimonial…?”

Anyway, business cards can be an excellent tool if designed correctly and used in the right environment. Hopefully what I’ve shared here will help you the next time you create some business cards for yourself.

-Ryan M. Healy

Yesterday, I wrote about how Denny’s offered a free Grand Slam breakfast to anybody who came in on Tuesday, February 4.

Today I learned that not only did the promotion create a flood of business… it also generated hundreds of phone calls.

Why?

Because nobody believed the breakfast was going to really be free. Manager Sam Kaul had answered more than 100 calls by 9:15 a.m. He says:

“Free freaks people out,” Kaul said as he shuffled in customers who had to wait about 20 minutes for a seat. “They call and say, ‘What’s the catch?’”

And this brings up a very important point about making free offers.

That is, you should always give a good reason why.

Obviously, Denny’s offer of a free breakfast sounded too good to be true. Many people didn’t believe it.

They could have easily side-stepped this by offering a believable reason why they were offering the free meal.

For instance: They could have said they were doing it to help people out in hard times — and win back customers.

Or they could have said:

We want to prove to you what a great value Denny’s is. Here, your dollar goes further.

Our Grand Slam breakfast has two pancakes, two eggs, two pieces of bacon, and two sausage links, all for only $5.99 — the same as what you might pay at any old fast-food joint.

And on Tuesday, you can try our Grand Slam breakfast absolutely free. No strings attached.

This is just off the top of my head.

Whenever you’re offering something for free, give a reason — any reason — why you’re doing it, and chances are you’ll have more people taking you up on your offer.

-Ryan M. Healy

So I’m writing and doing some research today when I see this headline:

“Free breakfast at Denny’s? I’m there!”

That got my attention. Not because I like Denny’s — I don’t. But the idea of a free meal is compelling.

So here’s the scoop:

Denny’s ran a commercial during the Superbowl. That commercial offered a free “Grand Slam” breakfast to anybody who came in today, Tuesday, February 4.

According to this article, Denny’s was on track to serve 2 MILLION free breakfasts in a single day.

Oh. And their web site? On an average day, it will get 350,000 visits. Since running the commercial, they’ve had 40 million “hits” in about two days (not sure if they’re confusing hits/visits… big difference).

Now, if Denny’s was smart, they would have had some kind of way to get all those customers to come back again this week. A $2-off coupon. Or a “buy one, get one free” coupon. Something.

Otherwise, all those free meals may go to waste.

No matter what happens, I think this example proves free isn’t dead. Not by a long shot.

-Ryan M. Healy

P.S. Have you ever studied Nutrasystem ads? They’ve built an entire company on two things: Amazing before-and-after testimonials… AND… by giving away a free week’s worth of food to new customers.

Obviously, they’re making their money on weeks #2, 3, 4, etc.

If Denny’s knows what they’re doing, and they’ve put something in place to get customers to come back, they may have just created a marketing “Grand Slam.” ;-)

—-> Read my follow up post here: Freaks People Out, He Says