Right now, I’m toying around with a few different headlines for my Copywriting Code membership site.
In fact, my plan is to rewrite the headline and restructure the entire sales letter to be more persuasive.
With that in mind, I’ve decided to do something COMPLETELY different. Rather than do a split-test (since the site doesn’t get much traffic at this point), I thought I’d see what YOU think about the following headlines.
Please vote for your favorite headline or suggest one of your own.
Also, please keep in mind that Copywriting Code is a membership site that teaches both freelance copywriters and business owners how to write direct response copy.
Thanks in advance for your help!
-Ryan M. Healy
P.S. Do you have an idea that needs more explanation? I’d love to hear it. Just leave a comment below.
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About Ryan M. Healy
Ryan Healy is a direct response copywriter. Since 2002, he has worked with scores of clients, including BoostCTR, Alex Mandossian, Terry Dean, and Pulte Homes. He writes a popular blog about copywriting, advertising, and business growth, has been featured in publications like Feed Front magazine, and is a regular contributor to WordStream.com, BoostCTR.com, and MarketingForSuccess.com.
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{ 14 comments }
If you’re aiming at business owners, even partially, I’ve found that they don’t all know what ‘copy’ means. I’d replace ‘copy’ with ‘writing.’
How about – “Web Copy that Sells: How to Write Copy for Online Sales That Turn Words into Wealth” Peter
Learn To Earn: Getting Results From Direct Response Copy
Bruce Ruby
“Your Key to Writing Ads and Copy that will Exlode Sales and Unlock Your Future…”
You can also test leading with a premium. Selling continuity outright is often hard unless people already know they want it, but if you come up with a premium (or multiple premiums) they can't resist and lead with that, well…
Thanks for the reminder, Ben – I may pursue this in the very near future.
Have you considered possibly 2 different versions of the sales letter? You have 2 different “whos” Business owners could potentially become clients, right? Freelance copywriters, not so much. Many business owners don’t understand the jargon of direct response marketing while freelance copywriters do (or should). You can have a better message to market match if you have two different versions of the sales letter speaking more directly to one or the other. Of course, I’m on the outside looking in so maybe you have different ideas but that’s what struck me immediately.
Great idea, Robert. So far I’ve been trying to work within the aMember framework… but maybe I just need to set up two sales pages outside of that framework.
How important are keyphrases for SEO here Ryan? As Robert suggests, a lot of business owners probably won’t be looking for information on how to write better copy. They’ll probably be looking for information on making more sales (online?) or similar. I think your last headline would be very strong for freelance copywriters (it hit all my buttons), but you may want to consider a secondary keyphrase for business owners. I haven’t actually done any keyword research on this (and I’m not even an SEO copywriter!) but perhaps something like “How to generate more leads and sales” would work as a good primary keyphrase, which you could follow up with a second line like “Using the right words” or similar? Something simple that they’ll understand immediately.
Great idea, Robert. So far I’ve been trying to work within the aMember framework… but maybe I just need to set up two sales pages outside of that framework.
Sorry Ryan,
No headline is going to fix your problem. What are your offering? Wealth? Selling? Better writing? It’s too vague… for a membership site, anyway.
Because the payment is ongoing, you need an ongoing benefit.
Think about this:
You pay some things regularly every month…
Your phone
Your electric
Your rent
That’s because you NEED those things. However, most business owners WANT to get better at copywriting.
You also buy things that you occasionally want…
A snack
A movie
A book
You don’t need those things. You just want them.
Sorry to say it, bud. You’re selling something nobody needs on a monthly basis. They only want to get better at their writing. So, take that content and put it into some ebooks or courses.
In split-testing fitness ads, every time I focus on the benefits that people want (i.e. to look better, feel more confident, make their friends look at them with wide-eyes when they see the difference)…
… it always out-pulls when I’ve focused on what they need (i.e. low blood pressure, low cholesterol, reduced risk for heart disease, etc.).
Most of us grudgingly pay for the things we need, and complain over every bill. But for the things we want? We’ll pay top dollar, and do it every month if it keeps hitting the spot.
I think this membership site’s a great idea. Look forward to seeing the final sales letter for it.
David
I guess that’s why nobody pays monthly for Netflix… because it’s a want and not a need. :-)
That aside, I do appreciate your feedback. Thank you.
At this point, keywords aren’t too important because I’m not using Adwords or SEO to get new members. I’m really only marketing this to my list of subscribers. So hopefully most will be familiar with the value of good copy and will want to learn how to write better copy.
I do like the idea of having two separate sales pages: one for copywriters and one for business owners. But that really only works where you can split up traffic by keyword. It wouldn’t work as well for a single mailing list.
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